


A Hurtful Word, a.k.a. How Jason Saved Dick From The Paparazzi

by Living_Free



Series: Slip and Slide [27]
Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Alfred does another killing maybe, Batfamily, Bruce to the rescue, Crack, Damian the babysitter, Fluff, Gen, Goodbye old identity, Humor, Jason Todd is Alive, Jason has a snuggle, Jason to the Rescue, Paparazzi, Uncle Clark Reporter Extraordinaire, Wally is very secure in his marriage, batbros, daddy!Bats, no more Mason Podd, once more, sleazebag reporters harass Dick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-12
Updated: 2019-03-13
Packaged: 2019-11-15 22:14:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18081899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Living_Free/pseuds/Living_Free
Summary: Dick is harassed.Bruce is hopping mad.Jason must save the day,and Clark has the final say.





	1. Chapter 1

  
Bruce liked to be the first one to be a the breakfast table in the mornings. It meant that he could make small talk with Dick as his eldest dished up cereal, pancakes, oatmeal, or whatever he had prepared that morning. With Dick now being a husband and father in additon to being Bruce's son, Bruce cherished those moments where it was just them and baby Terry.

Oh, and Damian.

Speaking of which, Damian had just come shooting into the kitchen like a dart, picked up the morning paper, and then sat on it.

Bruce, who had been about to reach for it, was nonplussed.

"Damian, may I have the paper?"

"Later, father, I am attempting to save Grayson's mental balance!"

"You can't save what was never there," Bruce grumbled, as Dick sashayed over and placed a bowl of fruit arranged in a heart in front of Damian and gave him a good morning kiss.

Tim was next to waddle in, looking at the paper underneath Damian's rear. "I need to check the stocks," he said. "There are rumors of falling share prices at Cobblepot Industries started by yours truly, and I want to see how much they've gone down by."

"Twenty percent, now go away!" Damian hissed. "Can you not see that I am guarding the paper for a reason?"

"What reason?" Wally asked, walking in with Terry in his arms, who was quickly snatched away by Bruce. "Hello my love," he greeted Dick with a kiss.

"My love!" Dick cooed back and returned the kiss.

In the commotion, Damian was attempting to set fire to the paper with his conjured flames. Bruce snatched the paper away and opened it up, only to see a picture of Dick and a man who was unmistakably Jason on the front page.

_"ALL IN THE FAMILY?"_

_"Wayne Enterprises shareholder and Gotham socialite Dick Grayson was spotted at the local froyo parlour, administering kisses to a unknown man. With further investigation, this reporter can confirm the man's identity to be Mason Podd, undergraduate student at Gotham University majoring in literature. Mr Podd is also the grandson of Alfred Pennyworth, the Wayne family butler._

_"Could this be proof of Grayson's affections extending beyond his own marriage? Dick Grayson married one Wallace West last year-"_

Damian sighed heavily and slumped in defeat for a second, before pointing accusatorily at Wally. "Listen well, West! If you dare to misunderstand Grayson's pure love-"

Wally glanced over and squinted at the picture. "That's just Jason. So Dick kissed Jason?"

"Jaybird was feeling down after that hostage situation in the orphanage," Dick said, nonchalantly placing a bowl of cereal in front of Wally. "We went for froyo to cheer him up."

Wally huffed a laugh. "Lol. They thought you were macking on Jason."

"It was hardly macking," Dick scoffed. "It was a tender kissy. Like this," Dick demonstrated to Wally, pressing a light kiss to his cheek. Wally grinned.

Damian goggled at the pair of them. "West, are you truly so accepting of this nonsense that these ignoramus' report about Grayson's purity?"

Wally shrugged. "It doesn't matter when we know the truth. Dick can kiss his siblings all he wants. That's his right, and being married doesn't mean that I can tel him to stay away from you guys."

"But the world is now casting aspersions about his loyalty to you!"

"Yes, and I don't care about the world. I've got my whole world right here," he said, holding Dick's hand and beaming up at him. Dick tittered like a punch-drunk butterfly while Damian and Bruce both facepalmed.

"This is the third time that someone has cast aspersions on Wayne inbreeding," Bruce grumbled unhappily. "Something must be done."

"Clearly," Damian said. "Oh, if only the world knew that Todd was not dead! Grayson's good name could be salvaged!"

Bruce looked thoughtfully at Tim. "Tim, can you arrange for a good and sneaky lawyer?"

"Tim Drake-Wayne, Esquire, at your service," Tim beamed proudly.

"Can you make something happen?"

"Depends," Tim said, leaning back and steepling his fingers together. "What do you want to do?"

Bruce smiled. "Something out of this world."

***

Saturday morning saw all the Waynes, Wayne spouses, and Wayne adjacents (Jim, Barbara, Colin, Duke, and Stephanie) gathered in the Wayne Manor grounds to hold a press conference in the security of the Manor grounds.

Members of the press had flocked around the dais were the Waynes sat, eargerly jockeying for position. When the hubbub died down, Bruce got up to address the crowd.

"My fellow Gothamites," he began, "today, it gives me great pleasure to announce something that I have longed to divulge. My second son, Jason Peter Todd-Wayne, was long presumed dead. In truth, he was alive, hidden away for his own safety. In his goodness, he has agreed to answer your questions today."

Bruce ceded the stage to Jason, who stomped up amongst a flurry of camera shutters. "Hi, I'm Jason," he said shortly. "I'm not dead."

A brave reporter put up his hand. "Mr. Todd, do you-"

"It's Todd-Wayne, asshat, and you've just lost your question. Next."

"Mr. Todd-Wayne!" Another voice shouted. "Tracy Adams, Gotham Gazette. Why did you fake your death?"

"I saw a crime go down, so I went into witness protection of sorts."

"Where did you go?"

Jason decided on the truth. "I went to live with Bruce's ex. She's cool like that."

"When did you come back?"

"A few years ago. Next."

"Joseph Adler, Central News," another reporter introduced himself. "Mr. Todd-Wayne, why do you want to reveal yourself now?"

Jason glared. "Because," he thundered, "you ratchet excuse for organic matter - yeah, you, Adler! - decided that I was in an incestuous relationship with my own brother, and then publicized it! Dick is married and has a child, for god's sake, do you not think about anything except your next paychecks? What if his husband was anyone else other than Wally, who understands him and has no insecurities about his marriage?

"I would have loved to live in anonymity, but apparently, a bro can't kiss his own bro without it being scandalous and horrifying. Grow the fuck up."

Stunned silence greeted Jason's words. Then, slowly, Barbara started to clap, followed by Dick, then Tim. Soon, the whole auditorium was applauding, sans the guilty reporter who had published the original story.

He was never heard from again.

Once again, Dick suspected that Alfred had something to do with it.

***

After the press conference, Jason found himself on the sofa at Wayne Manor, having his hair fondled lovingly by Dick's gentle hands. If Jason was to be honest with himself, he didn't now why he let it continue, but there was something about the innocent and unconditional touch that made him feel just a bit better, like he had done something right.

"Thank you for standing up for me, Little Wing," Dick cooed.

Jason harrumphed and then looked at Roy pointedly, signalling for him to do soemthing and free him from Dick's tender hold.

Dick, completely misunerstanding the communication, flapped around like a panicked chicken. "Oh, Roy, I wouldn't forget you!" He cried, and proceeded to thread his right hand gently through Roy's hair as well.

Jason groaned as Roy snickered at his plight. "Here lies the Red Hood's tough guy personality," Jason mourned, even as Dick's hand massaged his scalp, "having perished under the mountain of fluff and rainbows that was his older brother's insatiable need to smother him with affection."

"What rot," Damian snorted, "you have no 'tough guy' exterior, Todd. Everyone knows that you weep whilst watching fuzzy cat videos."

"That was one time, and the kitten reminded me of Roy!"

"You were smiling like a loon last week, whilst watching the 'Nyan Cat'."

"Oh my god."

"Nyan cat was so 2011, Jason," Tim snorted. "Honestly, I'm disappointed."

"What in god's name is a nyan cat?" Bruce asked, confused and in his forties.

Cass hopped over and showed Bruce the youtube video, watching as Bruce's eyes widened in horror. "Good god," he muttered. "Burn it and throw it into the ocean."

Cass giggled and slithered back into her cave of dankness with Tim, curling around him and grooming him like her persnickety little cub, leaving Bruce to grumble about the travesty that was nyan cat.

Jason sniggered at Bruce from where his hair was being petted by his older brother. "Poor Bruce, exposed to the unholy pixelated feline. I want a cat. Hey, hand Terry over," Jason said, making grabby hands at his nephew. Dick passed him over and seized a quick smooch from his brother, his brother-in-law, and his baby son in the span of 0.01 seconds before flouncing off to the kitchen to prepare lunch.

Jason snuggled into the couch with Terry lying against his chest. "It's just us, Terry Berry," Jason said. "A man and his nephew, alone amongst kissy Dickheads and grumpy grandpa. Hey Roy."

"Yeah?"

"Hand me a blanket. Imma have a snuggle with my godson."

"You have got to stop rubbing that in our faces," the godchild-less Tim grumbled, as Cass and Damian scowled.

Roy grinned as he brought over a bright yellow blanket and watched Jason turn himself and Terry into blanket slugs. "Nice and warm, Jaybird?" He asked.

Jason flinched. "Gak. I thought you were Dick for a second. Don't do that, It's creepy."

"Did someone say my name?" Dick asked, oozing in with tea and biscuits. "Oh, Jaybird, you and Terry look so snuggly and cute and cozy, like little banana sluggies!"

"Oh my god, he's going to burst with squee," Jason said, wriggling away. "Everyone, out of the explosion site!"

Damian rushed forward to absorb the shockwave by attaching himself to Dick, and was promptly babied with the force of a thousand maternal lemurs. Damian being the attention starved insect that he was, soaked it all up like a sponge and thus saved his immediate family from the disaster area.

"It looks like its safe," Tim muttered, edging out from behind the sofa.

"Tim, no! There's still debris-"

But it was too late, as Tim was sucked into the vortex of affection and fluff along with Damian, but took it with far less grace than his younger brother.

Watching Dick surrender to his most primal need to spread good will and joy, Bruce frowned. And to think that the public thought that there was anything impure about his son. Clearly, something had to be done.

And Bruce was going to be the one to do it.

***

Damian trundled into the kitchen for breakfast the next morning and noted the addition of Clark Kent with some surprise. "Good morn, Kent," he greeted Clark. "Are you in need of my babysitting services for Little Kent again? In that case, I accept. We had previously left off on his etiquette lessons."

"That's so nice of you Damian," Clark smiled. "What were you teaching Jon?"  
"I was covering the use of the soup spoon for the proper gouging of the eyeball-"

"Oh no."  
Bruce chuckled darkly as Damian elaborated on the proper angle of the entrée knife for the stabbing of the thigh and revelled in Clark's horrified looks. Juts then, Dick came in, looking surprised to see his family actually half-way awake for breakfast.

"Hi guys!" Dick sang, tying his apron as he got to work on breakfast. "Uncle Clark! What brings you by?"

"Oh, work," Clark said nonchalantly. "I was tasked with another Wayne family exposé. Would you care to indulge me, Dick?"

"Of course," Dick said obligingly, "what are you going to do?"

"Oh, I'll just hang around and observe the family. A fly on the wall. And afterwards, we can go and patrol together, what do you say?"

Dick beamed. "Just like the old days! I'd love that!" He turned around. "Oh, Jaybird, you've got maple syrup on your little nose! Here, let me get that for you-"

"Stay away, Dickface!" Jason cried, as Dick licked his thumb and approached lovingly to wipe the syrup away.

Clark shared a grin with Bruce and began writing the true story of Richard Grayson-Wayne.


	2. Chapter 2

**INSIDE WAYNE MANOR**

_A fly on the wall perspective of the illustrious Wayne family, by Clark Kent_

 

This is my sixth Wayne family exposé over the many years I have known Bruce Wayne and his ever expanding family. At some point, it stopped being an exposé and just became breakfast.

This is where I start my story - at the kitchen table inside the Wayne Manor kitchens. The room is ornate and beautiful enough to be a ballroom, and currently holds only myself and Bruce Wayne as it's occupants.

It should be imposing, sitting next to the man himself, but somehow, it isn't. No one can be imposing as they trundle around the coffee pot for their morning fix, much as Bruce Wayne is doing now. Finally the timer dings, and Wayne chugs his brew with all the finesse of an angry boar.

The doors open now to two more people - Damian Wayne and his eldest brother, Richard Grayson-Wayne-West. Richard sees me and grins, and calls me Uncle Clark, and I know that there is no pretense behind his open smile and bright eyes.

I first interviewed Richard Grayson when he was a tragedy struck ten year old, fresh form the loss of his parents and adjusting to life as the first adopted son of Bruce Wayne. He was shy then, small and unsure of himself, but still held the quiet intensity of goodwill that he carries to this day. Everything he does is an extension of this goodwill and kindness, and it shows.

It shows in the way that he makes breakfast for his family, while he has his newborn son strapped to his chest. It shows when he gives Damian his cereal with a special banana face smiley on it, just for him. When he gives me a glass of juice and some jam and toast without hesitation.

Richard's good nature extends to the rest of his family, even to his skittish second brother Jason, who tries to dodge a greeting kiss and fails. Jason Todd-Wayne-Harper is standoffish and guarded, but the mirage falls away when he kisses his husband goodbye for the day, or when Richard hands baby Terrence over to hold. He is an uncle and brother, and he is a good one.

Today is the Wayne siblings' day off, and they are free from classes for the weekend. The three younger Wayne boys, including Damian, all attend Gotham University. Richard is a work-from-home editor for the crime division of the Gotham Gazette, and opts to stay home to care for his son and his youngest brother, who visibly brightens at the mention of Richard's fondness for him.

Next to join us are Timothy and Cassandra Wayne, looking like a pair of twins up to no good, even though Cassandra is the older by several years. My suspicion is proved right when the terrible twosome sneak up behind Damian and quickly gel his hair into a mohawk. It seems that there will be a battle, when the situation is quickly diffused by Richard announcing that Damian looks like the tough little man that he is. There is calm once more.

Richard cooks breakfast for each of his siblings, while the baby gets passed around, ultimately settling in Bruce Wayne's arms for the interim. The proud grandfather has staked his claim. Soon, breakfast is fully dished up - Timothy gets sausages and eggs, arranged in a smile on his plate, Cassandra gets a yogurt bowl, Damian munches away on his cereal, and Bruce Wayne tucks into his oatmeal. Jason, despite insisting that he has already eaten, gets a banana and a smooch.

The rest of the siblings clean up the table after breakfast, so that Richard can feed his infant son. When asked about his food, he grins and says that he has already eaten. Surprisingly, he is the first to wake in the morning.

The ever dependable Alfred Pennyworth when caught alone, extolls the virtues of his eldest grandson. "Master Richard has grown to embrace the domestic arts as much as I would have hoped. A happy house leaves no room to grouse, after all," he says, as he dusts and sweeps around the manor.

As it is the weekend, th enitre family congregates at Wayne Manor, including friends of the family, and this reporter's brother, who has been datng Timothy Drake. If this reporter were not on the job, he would have draged his brother out by the ear to preserve young Timothy's purity. Jason tells me that this is a lost cause, but I must try, for the good of humanity.

Also, this reporter fears Bruce Wayne's wrath, should he catch his son and my brother up to any naughtiness.

Richard is busy in the kitchen with his best friend, one Barbara Gordon, as he whips up carrot sticks and smoothies for young Damian and Ms Gordon's son, Colin Wilkes-Gordon, as they play in the yard. Barbara gabs with her best friend and once-boyfriend and uses her time wisely to smother baby Terrence with affection.

Suddenly, the manor alarms are tripped, and everyone goes stock still. It is eerie, to see children and youngsters react in this way, ready and primed to act for their own safety. I see that Richard has grabbed a steak knife while Ms Gordon wheels herself and the baby to safety, also armed with a lethal looking device.

The commotion is brought to a halt a quickly as it started, and the cause is revealed to be a young tresspasser by the name of Stephanie Brown, attempting to sneak into her best friend/girlfriend's rooms. Bruce Wayne is quickly turning an unflatering purple shade, and this reporter beats a quick exit, leaving Wayne to chastize the unflappable blonde, who is saying, and I quote, "Can't stop, won't stop."

I follow Richard out to the backyard, where he bids the children to sit and eat, smiling over them like a benevolent angel. It is easy to see why he is a good father, kind and indulging of his own siblings and their friends.

I look around and see Jason and his husband, Mr Harper, in the pool swimming laps. Ideally, Timothy and Conner (my brother) should be doing the same, but for some reason are acting out a siren seducing a pirate into a watery love fest. For those who are curious, Timothy was the siren.

At this point, I admit that I broke from protocol as a fly on the wall and actively participated, in order to tell off my brother and send him home. Young Timothy is visibly sad, but I see him mouth the words 'video call'. My torment will never end.

Lunch is a festive event, with so many people present. Everyone has contributed a dish, with the main work being done by Alfred Pennyworth and Richard, with the contribution of chicken from Jason and Roy, and Ms Gordon supplying fruit salad. At this time, Richard's husband joins the group, having concluded his business in nearby Central City, which is still his workplace. It is patently obvious that Richard and Wallace are in love, as they form a cocoon of their own with their little family. Curiously, Damian has infiltrated the cocoon, and has been accepted as a Grayson-West.

When asked about living with his in-laws, Wallace shrugs and says, "It's nice. I've always wanted a big family. Plus, we got a readymade kid with Damian, and everyone is super involved. It's a wierd dynamic for anyone looking in from the outside, but Terry gets to grow up with his grandpa, uncles, and aunties, and eventual cousins, and I wouldn't change anything."

Anything, I ask to clarify?

"Well, I'd change the fact that Jason sleeps in the nude when he and Roy stay the night sometimes. It's wierd bumping into him in the middle of the night when you come down for a glass of water."

I ask how it is to live with Bruce Wayne, and Wallace actually laughs. "I like Bruce. He's a big teddy bear. Things were strange at first, but with Terry, he changed to grandpa mode so fast that it made our heads spin.I think he's just happy when his kids are happy."

Looking at the family now, gathered around the table and animatedly chatting to one another, with Bruce Wayne watching happily from the head of the table, I cannot refute this statement.

Now, if you don't mind, there's a roast chicken calling this reporter's name.


End file.
